- getting agreed to stay abroad for the next semester
- cheap plane tickets for Easter
- no problems with the duty free products
- higher/ never-ending grants
and all other Erasmus dreams to come true!
See you next year!
12/16/2012
Buon Natale!
Dear friends! It's time to face the sad truth- as much as we love being Erasmus we all dream of finally coming home. That's probably why someone invented Xmas break ;) We wish you all the good things including:
- getting agreed to stay abroad for the next semester
- cheap plane tickets for Easter
- no problems with the duty free products
- higher/ never-ending grants
and all other Erasmus dreams to come true!
See you next year!
- getting agreed to stay abroad for the next semester
- cheap plane tickets for Easter
- no problems with the duty free products
- higher/ never-ending grants
and all other Erasmus dreams to come true!
See you next year!
12/08/2012
How not to freeze in these hard days...
The dark days have begun when the sun and warm summer days are just a blur memory... And since also the great contest of WHO HAS SPENT THE LEAST ON ELECTRICITY? started and you cannot simply switch on the heating system in your apartment. Rumor has it, that there is a flat where less than 20e was paid!
So send a message to all your friends that in case they were cooking something OR ironing clothes you want to know. In that case every time someone produces some extra heat you will be there to enjoy it! Don't let it get wasted!
Of course you can walk around from shop to shop trying to unfreeze your fingers but there is a big chance that somebody will eventually ask you what the hell are you doing there every evening looking like The Little Match Girl.
The only other reasonable thing to do is to take another person to bed with you.. Or better- crush at her/his place and convince them that the whole electricity master contest is just a stupid children game and that they really, really should switch the radiator on... In this way you have not only nice moments in a cosy place but also cut out the competition...
So send a message to all your friends that in case they were cooking something OR ironing clothes you want to know. In that case every time someone produces some extra heat you will be there to enjoy it! Don't let it get wasted!
Of course you can walk around from shop to shop trying to unfreeze your fingers but there is a big chance that somebody will eventually ask you what the hell are you doing there every evening looking like The Little Match Girl.
The only other reasonable thing to do is to take another person to bed with you.. Or better- crush at her/his place and convince them that the whole electricity master contest is just a stupid children game and that they really, really should switch the radiator on... In this way you have not only nice moments in a cosy place but also cut out the competition...
11/28/2012
Orgasmus olimpic games
Erasmus is a period of exaggerated emotions and urges. That's a fact. You are far from home, far from friends and lovers... and there is a temptation to take advantage of that! There are people who make the best of it and some who just go with the flow and sometimes wake up somewhere they would never like to be found. Let's find out which of them are you - just take our psycho-test!
1. Did it happen to you to wake up next to somebody whose name you didn't remember?
a. Yes of course - remembering the name of somebody you are not going to see ever again is a waste of energy!
b. Yes, but I try to make it up to her/him with a proper date (even though she/he was not especially a synonym of beauty)
c. No! I sleep only in my own bed with my teddy bear, mummy gave me at the age of 6.
2. Are you meeting somebody just because you need something particular of her/him?
a. Does moving in with her/him in order not to pay rent count?
b. Only to make us both happy (like sleeping together in her/his flat to avoid my turn of cleaning the flat).
c. What do you mean? I am not meeting anyone- I am here to study!
3. How many people are you seeing at the same time?
a. Are there limits? I didn't realise...
b. Just one. it may be temporary but it's facebook official!
c. My room-mates, my professors... that would be around 20?
MOST ANSWERS: A - You got just right!
Erasmus is not about commitments and you seem to know it! Just try not to get pregnant or engaged (!). Save your money for protection- condoms seem to cost more then alcohol. Be careful when you want to get laid with two girls/boys who are friends or room- mates. They might spread the news about your performance in bed and you will never get laid again!
MOST ANSWERS: B - You got it all wrong!
Do you really believe that you can have a relationship just for 3 months? And then come back home like nothing happened? We are terribly sorry but that happens only in movies. There are two options: you either fooling yourself or somebody will cry soon. Unless you are ready to stay here forever and become an italian mamma/ mercato fish seller... RUN!!!
MOST ANSWERS: C - Just go home...
You are officially lost. We have no advice for you.
xo xo
11/24/2012
Elite?
In every society there is a group that think is better than others. Among the Erasmus students it's even more visible since we are not such a big community. They walk around with their heads up and give everyone scornful, depreciating looks...
We've been observing them for a while... You want people to hate you? Here is what it gets!
1. Get yourself a team
It's only funny if are in the group. Preferably a group of your own nationals so that nobody could understand your inside jokes. Not too many people though - ask people to write prior written request in order to join the group. It's called prestige.
2. Have perspectives
You can't just be a student. You need to be a student of a perspective faculty. The one that gives you the right ask other people "And what are you going to do after this studies?". Ask that question a lot by the way. Don't let people forget you are the future of Europe.
3. Posh location
You can only look at people with despise if you live in a luxurious apartment. No dormitories or joined spaces. Walk around telling everybody how awesome your apartment is. Stress it out at every occasion. Even if it's not true. You will never have guests to check this out.
4. Festa!
Make a party. Make sure everybody knows you organise it. Invite only chosen people. Make it a secret. Let the rest know they were not chosen. Make posed photos showing how much fun it was (even if you were just eating cookies over a poor tv series). Publish them on facebook [Elite bitches!]
5. Express your hate
Remember- you hate everyone. You have everything. You hate your homeland and the one you are currently in. You hate the weather there and the weather here even more. You hate locals and your own nationals. You can have at maximum ONE thing you like (your hair/ coffee/ new shoes/A bar). Never smile.
That's it - you are there! Congratulations!
/ complaints and claims if people actually start hating you will not be accepted by the editors/
We've been observing them for a while... You want people to hate you? Here is what it gets!
1. Get yourself a team
It's only funny if are in the group. Preferably a group of your own nationals so that nobody could understand your inside jokes. Not too many people though - ask people to write prior written request in order to join the group. It's called prestige.
2. Have perspectives
You can't just be a student. You need to be a student of a perspective faculty. The one that gives you the right ask other people "And what are you going to do after this studies?". Ask that question a lot by the way. Don't let people forget you are the future of Europe.
3. Posh location
You can only look at people with despise if you live in a luxurious apartment. No dormitories or joined spaces. Walk around telling everybody how awesome your apartment is. Stress it out at every occasion. Even if it's not true. You will never have guests to check this out.
4. Festa!
Make a party. Make sure everybody knows you organise it. Invite only chosen people. Make it a secret. Let the rest know they were not chosen. Make posed photos showing how much fun it was (even if you were just eating cookies over a poor tv series). Publish them on facebook [Elite bitches!]
5. Express your hate
Remember- you hate everyone. You have everything. You hate your homeland and the one you are currently in. You hate the weather there and the weather here even more. You hate locals and your own nationals. You can have at maximum ONE thing you like (your hair/ coffee/ new shoes/A bar). Never smile.
That's it - you are there! Congratulations!
/ complaints and claims if people actually start hating you will not be accepted by the editors/
11/21/2012
How to be more Italian than Italians?
Have you ever heard two Italians talking?
Would you like to sound like them? A lot of Erasmus students think that after some time in the foreign country they should pretend to be local inhabitants. It's nice, nobody denies. Some tourists ask you for directions or information about the city and you know the answer! But the key is to talk in the proper manner!
Firstly - try to sing while talking. It's not easy, but while speaking try to imagine that you are Madonna or Justin Timberlake. No deep voices, even if you are a man. It has to sound soft....
Then start using your hands. Hands for speaking?- some of you may want to ask? Here in the south they still need to help themselves with gestures, so try to make it easier for them. Just remember you are not getting rid of a fly- these are still humans you are talking to! Here are some useful signs to practice in front of the mirror. One per day and soon you will be a half- blood Italian!
xo xo
p.
Would you like to sound like them? A lot of Erasmus students think that after some time in the foreign country they should pretend to be local inhabitants. It's nice, nobody denies. Some tourists ask you for directions or information about the city and you know the answer! But the key is to talk in the proper manner!
Firstly - try to sing while talking. It's not easy, but while speaking try to imagine that you are Madonna or Justin Timberlake. No deep voices, even if you are a man. It has to sound soft....
Then start using your hands. Hands for speaking?- some of you may want to ask? Here in the south they still need to help themselves with gestures, so try to make it easier for them. Just remember you are not getting rid of a fly- these are still humans you are talking to! Here are some useful signs to practice in front of the mirror. One per day and soon you will be a half- blood Italian!
xo xo
p.
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